Separated at birth (if you close your eyes)

For the last few days, I've been on a business trip and staying at a hotel with CNN as the only option for cable news (and they call Gitmo torture!). I caught a little of the all-but-unwatchable "Anderson Cooper 360^o" show. Truly painful - but I did learn a lot about Tom Cruise and Scientology.

Anyway, I was inspired to submit this vocal SAB:


Bill Kristol

Panelist on Fox News's Special Report

Editor of the Weekly Standard

Still wishes John McCain were President

Anderson Cooper

Host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360^o

Show has as many viewers as NAW has readers

Still wishes Jimmy Carter were President

Not much physical resemblence, but to me, their voices are identical.

Oh, the humanity!

Power Line brings us the latest of the many torture allegations from Guantanamo Bay.

John Hinderocker opines:

"Actually, I think the menu is evidence of a fiendish plot to do away with terrorists via obesity."

Support Our Troops

Promoted by President Bush in tonight's address: America Supports You.

Not Necessarily the News

A couple Scrappleface-quality posts from fellow MOB-sters":

- "Democratic Party Restates Platform," by the Kool Aid Report

- "St. Paul Invokes Eminent Domain to Acquire Minneapolis," by Pair o' Dice

Brilliant analogy

Hugh Hewitt nails it with this post from yesterday. I encourage you to read it all and follow the many links.

The Cliff's Notes version is this:

In 2000, the US Forest Service started what was supposed to be a "controlled burn" at Brandelier National Monument. Due to a miscalculation and a bad weather forecast, the fire got out of control and destroyed over 200 homes. The US government admitted responsibility and paid for the losses incurred, and no criminal charges were filed. But, as Hugh notes, what if this were to happen again? There certainly would be public outrage and calls for criminal investigations for not having learned from the previous mishap.

Another, much larger mishap occurred in Southeast Asia in the 1970s due to the withdrawal of American troops. Millions died, and communist regimes thrived as a result of our negligence. Why, then, do the liberal Democrats insist on repeating the cut-and-run strategy in the Middle East. Didn't they learn from our previous mistake?

Hugh brings it home:

....The Democrats want to start a controlled burn. If they succeed again, the deaths will surely occur far away and by the hundreds of thousands if not millions.

But they will also occur here. The president knows this, as does the vice president, the Secretary of Defense and the Secretary of State. What Rumsfeld must have been thinking when Kennedy ranted on about the need for the controlled burn to begin in Bandelier Monument immediately.

What Rumsfeld could not say, Rove did, and good for him. More and more people should say it, and are saying it. Serious people don't have to rely on MSM for repackaged talking points from the left. There are new voices and new sources, and they know the one key political fact: The leadership of the Democratic Party is now committed to a strategy of retreat that will inevitably lead to disastrous defeat and the deaths of Americans here at home. They have reverted to type, and the type is naive and dangerous. Their intentions don't matter, and their predictions can't be trusted. The voters have taken away most of their matches. In 2006, they should take away the rest.

Back to normal

I was concerned when the temporary renaming of this site to "KAR Wannabe" immediately gave Learned Foot a hyperinflated sense of power.

Now, I see that he thinks that he can delegate his blogging duties. He's "outsourced" his posts to some guy called "The Head of Fettucine Alfredo," or something like that.

It's time to nip this power-trip in the bud, so as a first step, this site has been restored to its former name.

Questions may be directed to The Head of Mitch Berg.

Another Thursday, another free drink

It was another hard-fought trivia match at Keegan's last night, but once again, yours truly was fortunate enough to be sitting at the table with the winning team.

Unlike last time, though:
1. It was not a Fraters-free zone. The opposition was at full strength.
2. It was not a tie for first. Team KVM (Doug, Gary, Andy, and me) won the contest outright, while four teams, including the Evil Empire, tied for second and had to endure the consolation prize: a shot of guavaberry {shudder}.

Triple A captured many great photos of the festivities (Who is that handsome devil at the bottom of the post?)

This makes the career trivia record for Northern Alliance KAR Wannabe:
1st place - 2
2nd place - 1
Other - 0
...and more importantly, 3 for 3 in the free drink department. Woo hoo!!

I think the two highlights of the evening for me were:
1. Witnessing justice imposed on the bagel-bearing anarchist.
2. Witnessing the argument amongst our team (which nearly came to blows, btw) about Dawson's Creek vis-a-vis Felicity. Good stuff.

Name change FAQ

For enquiring minds:

1. Why the name change? I was tagged by Learned Foot of the Kool Aid Report with that irritating book meme going around, but I was given an out:

Northern Alliance Wannabe needs some traffic, so I'll bother him too. However, I will let him off the hook if he changes the name of his blog to "KAR Wannabe".

I chose the lesser of two evils.

2. Is it permanent? Of course not. Let me make it perfectly clear that I can be bought. For the right price, this site could become "Nick Coleman Wannabe" next week.

This is more like it

Scrappleface provides a leaked copy of the "first draft" of Dick Durbin's teary apology on the floor of the Senate yesterday.

I like Scott Ott's version better.

Separated at birth: Star Tribune / Al-Jazeera

The comments of Senator Dick Durbin last week, comparing the "torture" at Gitmo (ya know, stuff like the intentional omission of the parsley sprig from the hijackers' orange-glazed chicken, desecrating the Koran by not providing it to detainees in the optional leather carrying case, etc. -- ya know, torture!) to the model of hospitality provided by Nazi concentration camps, Soviet gulags, and Cambodian fun parks, have generated a pretty-much universal response.

Durbin's comparisons were so clearly out of line that members of his own party won't go near them, and Durbin has now made multiple (albeit lame) apologies on the Senate floor. Everyone now understands just how inappropriate the comments were, right?

Right?...

D'oh!

Yes, our home town bird cage liner paper of record had seen fit to use today's editorial page not to repuditate Senator Durbin for his stupidity, but rather to call for more!

The whole editorial was a Michael Moore-worthy screed, but here's the money quote:

The heat got so bad that, late in the week, Durbin apologized if his remarks had been "misunderstood." They weren't, and Durbin should not have apologized. Instead, the senator should have hit back hard, just as the Amnesty International did when its comparison of Guantanamo to the Soviet gulag was attacked. By caving in, Durbin did just what the orchestrated right-wing smear effort required to succeed: It made him the story rather than focusing further attention on the outrageous violations of international law and human rights being perpetrated in Guantanamo and elsewhere in the name of the American people.

Word has it this was written by Jim Boyd. When it comes to fisking Mr. Boyd, I'll defer to the experts. Scott Johnson of Power Line responds in depth here, here, and especially here. For an extra credit assignment, Scott also provides a library of classic Boyd fisking here.

Ugh! I grew up in Illinois (home of Durbin) and now live in Minnesota (home of the Strib). Maybe next, I should move to France for some sanity!

"Breaking the Durbin Code"

From today's Daily Standard.

Nicely done, Hugh.

Priceless

I swear I'm not making this up. When doing a spell check on the post below, this came up from Blogger:

Dick is sorry - sort of...

Senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois ... My home state - I'm so embarassed.) gave an "apology" yesterday for his recent stupidity, comparing our terrorist detention facility at Guantanamo Bay to a Nazi concentration camp, a Soviet gulag, the work of Pol Pot, etc.

From the AP, via the Boston Globe:

Yesterday, Durbin tried to clarify the issue. "My statement in the Senate was critical of the policies of this administration, which add to the risk our soldiers face," he said in a statement released yesterday afternoon. "I have learned from my statement that historical parallels can be misused and misunderstood. I sincerely regret if what I said caused anyone to misunderstand my true feelings: Our soldiers around the world and their families at home deserve our respect, admiration, and total support."

Ok, I've got two problems with this "clarification":

1. Look at the first quoted sentence in the above excerpt. Which is it that Dick is saying adds to the risk our soldiers face -- his statement, or the policies of the administration? Unclear.

2. He says he's sorry if he caused anyone to misunderstand his true feelings, then gives a nice 'support our troops' nod. Great, but he doesn't exactly denounce his previous comments as being against his "true feelings." Again, unclear.

Not good enough for me, Dick.

Dick pulls a boner

Much has been made of Senator Dick Durbin's (D - Guantanamo Illinois) moronic moonbattery - e. g. recent posts by Michelle, Hugh, and Captain Ed.

I really have nothing insightful to add, except to note that now, whenever I hear the Senator's name, I immediately think this (warning: sound file - don't open at work when boss is around).

Ah, the wisdom of Sean Penn...

It made me tired just reading it

Kudos on a fine bit of airport blogging by Learned Foot at the Kool Aid Report.

This is why I'll never be rich

[Sigh] If only I had the enterprising instincts of this person...

Someone attending the premiere of Mr. & Mrs. Smith collected an air sample from the red carpet and is selling it on eBay - for $15,000!

The air is being marketed as possibly being breathed by Brad Pitt and/or Angelina Jolie, with the following disclaimer:

"We are not guaranteeing this air sample contains air molecules that came in contact with any celebrity epidermal layer or respiratory system, but the sample was captured in proximity of the celebrities and air molecules that did come in direct contact," the seller said on eBay.

What the heck am I doing blogging when I could be selling air?!

Hugh in bed with Colorado MSM?

Much has been made in the last week over the Minnesota vs. Colorado quarter kerfuffle.

Radioblogger has the latest exchange between our Governors as well as a poll to vote for the better quarter design.

However, it appears that yet again, the fix is in. It was Hugh Hewitt who started the controversy, and now I find this on HughHewitt.com:

The Great Quarter War has made Denver television. What have I done! A Denver Post columnist will be writing about the dust-up on Monday, and pointing readers to Radioblogger.com's poll on the merits of the two designs.

Denver local TV? The Denver Post? It doesn't sound much to me like Mr. Blog is satisfied to let the "new media" settle this one.

I wondered why the Twin Cities local media hasn't been drawn into this. Then I remembered, local reporters here aren't anyone's monkey.

Regardless, Minnesota is at a logistical disadvantage here, so remember to go to Radioblogger and vote early and often!

New species identified

A second case of Mad Cow may or may not have been identified in the US. From the MSNBC story:

The USDA said the suspect animal tested positive for BSE in a rapid, preliminary test in November. When retested with more sophisticated technology, it was found free of the disease.

But the agriculture department's inspector general asked department scientists this week to retest the suspect animal, using a third kind of technology known as the "Western blot" test. The animal tested positive late Friday.

Additional testing now has revealed a DNA sequence linked to former Presidential candidate / current pompous moonbat Senator John F. Kerry. The new species of cow is tentatively named Bos flipflopperus.

When asked to comment, the cow replied:

"I actually tested negative for BSE, before I tested positive for it."

Another fun Thursday

I made it back to Keegan's this week for Thursday night trivia. This time, I had the fortune to team up with Captain Fishsticks, Barry (non-blogger, but does, I found out, work with a former co-worker of mine -- small world), and some guy named Mitch.

It was cool to finally meet in person Mr. Berg and the Fraters Libertas members of the Northern Alliance and also David Strom. According to the radio commercial, I guess that makes me simultaneously lucky and unlucky.

Again, it was a great time, but I regret to report that I can no longer claim an undefeated trivia record. Our team, "The Supreme Soviet of Gardening," finished tied for 2nd place to the Evil Empire - at least, officially.

We wuz robbed, I tells ya! We were denied one point (which turned out to be the margin of victory) because we wrote "Yassir Arafat" instead of Yasser Arafat.

Puh-leeze! Clearly, the fix was in. This is even more of a miscarriage of justice than the acquittal of the Hatch sisters.

Fortunately, however, prizes go to the top two teams, so NAW still has a perfect record in the free drink department. Woo hoo!

To my cubicle mates: Consider yourselves warned!

The Kool Aid Report points out a hard-hitting article from our favorite bird cage liner exposing the rampant fraud in the local research community.

One in three U.S. scientists admitted in an anonymous survey that they committed scientific misconduct in the previous three years, according to a report by a team of Minnesota researchers.While falsifying research is uncommon, the survey found that 33 percent of scientists admitted breaking rules, large and small, that are supposed to ensure the honesty of their work, the authors report in the British journal Nature....

The survey, which was led by Brian Martinson of the HealthPartners Research Foundation in Bloomington, questioned more than 3,200 scientists around the country about a long list of questionable actions. They range from outright fraud to improper relationships with research subjects.

Now, in addition to being an amateur blogger, I am also a research scientist. I share a small cube farm with five other research scientists.

What this article tells me is that two of my office cohabitants are big honkin' liars! Rest assured, I will root out the corruption and expose the guilty parties for the frauds they are.

Of course, I could be lying, in which case, there would be only one other bad apple to find. Then again, there's a 1-in-3 chance that Brian Martinson just made the whole thing up, in which case...

Oh, never mind.

John "F" (as in report card) Kerry

Well, well, well...

It seems the pompous blowhard Junior Senator from Massachusetts / President Wannabe isn't as smart as he'd like us to think he is.

As reported in the Washington Post (HT Ankle Biting Pundits):

Sen. John F. Kerry's grade average at Yale University was virtually identical to President Bush's record there, despite repeated portrayals of Kerry as the more intellectual candidate during the 2004 presidential campaign.

Kerry had a cumulative average of 76 and got four Ds his freshman year in geology, two history courses and political science, The Boston Globe reported Tuesday.

That's right. Mr. Global Test didn't do any better at Yale than Chimpy McBushHitler.

This is just precious:

"I always told my dad that D stood for distinction," Kerry said in a written response to reporters' questions. He said he has previously acknowledged focusing more on learning to fly than studying.

[Ed. - "D" certainly doesn't stand for Democrat-in-the-White-House-anytime-soon.]

Of course, Kerry's grades did improve over the years, thanks to better performances in French, Windsurfing, and Advanced Bloviating.

UPDATE: I wasn't aware that Lurch and Alfalfa had a love child...

A nod from the big boys

In an update to the Minnesota/Colorado quarter smackdown, Chad the Elder from Fraters Libertas included the following comment from yours truly today:

In comparing the respective gravitas of the MN and CO blogging coalitions, the debate starts and ends with this:

Has anyone ever started a blog called "Rocky Mountain Alliance Wannabe?"

Thanks for the link, Chad.

Howie's got a challenger

John Kerry must be extremely jealous of all the press Howard Dean is getting recently as DNC Chair.

Polipundit reports that in an effort to overthrow Dr. Dean as "King of the Moonbats," the junior Senator from Massachusetts is now planning to submit the Downing Street Memo to Congress as grounds for impeachment of President Bush.

And I thought Al Gore was a sore loser...

My quarter can beat up your quarter!

It looks like Hugh Hewitt has started a civil war of sorts between Colorado and our fair state of Minnesota:

Perhaps the governor was swept up in the enthusiasm of the new design, Governor Owens then went on to unfavorably contrast Minnesota's state quarter with the new Colorado quarter. Word reached Minnesota Governor Pawlenty --we called him and played [Owens's] comments-- and, well, it got a little ugly.

Details to follow, but apparently, the govs are going to settle the score with a duel in skiing, hockey, or tax pledges.

Hugh continues:

The dividend of the conversation with Governor Pawlenty was his agreement that the FratersLibertas bloggers have a collective drinking problem. He relayed as to how there was an effort --led by the Fraters gang-- to have me recalled from my post as Minnesota Commissioner of Hockey. I pointed out that the Fraters guys were drunks, to which the Governor of Minnesota replied, "That's right."

Case closed.

No representatives from Fraters could be reached for comment regarding the charge of a drinking problem. They were all at Keegan's.