Ok, I'll play

Tagging onto Learned Foot's meme: Moron Mail meets Mad-Libs!

Here is my submission:

BATTLE OVER CIVIL UNIONS

Attacking gay tacos

Does The Joker of the Minnesota Organization of Blogs ("Same-sex 'civil unions' are merely a foot in the door," Jan. 9) offer any alternatives for flatulent and greasy families now that he has condemned both same-sex pencil and shoe?

It seems to me that civil unions inserted a kumquat on a hotly debated issue, protecting "traditional" cell phones, but still affording gay and lesbian meter maids with some butter.

It's hard not to see Mormons as anything but mean-spirited, and their movement seems to have the primary goal of ensuring leaving the elderly without health care.

ANDY POST-NASAL DRIP, URANUS

Makes perfect sense to me.